It has been a while since I have poured my heart out on this page. So here is an update for anyone who is interested!
When I first got back I jumped into the crazy world of camp. There was a day between getting off the plane and getting into camp. At the end of my first full day home I got to grab coffee with Brittany/Mr. Eko who was my CIT lead back in 2011 and also one of the biggest reasons I did Ywam along with made it through my outreach phase. After getting to talk to her and just share with someone who had gone through as close enough to similar experience as I did, I went down to camp. I told everyone that I would not be at camp till the next day. So around 10pm when everyone was getting snack after worship I went into the kitchen where my dad told me to crouch down behind the counter. I waited till Julia and Brittany had made it to the front of the line and while my dad held them there with conversation I popped up from my hiding place. The look on their faces is one thing that I will never forget. soon I was swarmed with not only Brittany and Julia but my family from 2011! That would have had to have been my favorite memory from this summer or at least one of them. The summer went by far to fast as always. Filled with cabins of girls who stole my heart and some where the girls stole my sanity.
Once the summer ended I gave myself a month of rest. I foolishly did not take the warning of my school leader and jumped straight into camp right after DTS. Soon enough I got a job at a day care called hill crest kids. Then after three months of working there I made the choice to go back to school. During this time I struggled a lot with my faith. I had no idea what God wanted me to do or if I were going down the right path. I thought because I was not doing some radical thing in my life then I wasn't doing what God wanted me to do. I was so busy trying to make adventure or success for myself that I totally and completely shut the Lords voice out of my life. I wont forget the weekend that the Lord spoke to me again. He told me how much more I am worth than what I had been giving myself. Later when I continued to ask and not listen to what God had to say I got a note from my mom that just totally and completely confirmed that God really didn't care about the fact that I was in school or just working. If there is one thing that I learn from this time of being home, is that first and foremost my heavenly father just wants me to be his daughter. His child. I need to know this completely and fully before I go back out in the world. The cry of my heart is still send me Lord here I am send me. Until then I am staying put and learning how to live a "radical" life in a not so "radical" place.
When I first got back I jumped into the crazy world of camp. There was a day between getting off the plane and getting into camp. At the end of my first full day home I got to grab coffee with Brittany/Mr. Eko who was my CIT lead back in 2011 and also one of the biggest reasons I did Ywam along with made it through my outreach phase. After getting to talk to her and just share with someone who had gone through as close enough to similar experience as I did, I went down to camp. I told everyone that I would not be at camp till the next day. So around 10pm when everyone was getting snack after worship I went into the kitchen where my dad told me to crouch down behind the counter. I waited till Julia and Brittany had made it to the front of the line and while my dad held them there with conversation I popped up from my hiding place. The look on their faces is one thing that I will never forget. soon I was swarmed with not only Brittany and Julia but my family from 2011! That would have had to have been my favorite memory from this summer or at least one of them. The summer went by far to fast as always. Filled with cabins of girls who stole my heart and some where the girls stole my sanity.
Once the summer ended I gave myself a month of rest. I foolishly did not take the warning of my school leader and jumped straight into camp right after DTS. Soon enough I got a job at a day care called hill crest kids. Then after three months of working there I made the choice to go back to school. During this time I struggled a lot with my faith. I had no idea what God wanted me to do or if I were going down the right path. I thought because I was not doing some radical thing in my life then I wasn't doing what God wanted me to do. I was so busy trying to make adventure or success for myself that I totally and completely shut the Lords voice out of my life. I wont forget the weekend that the Lord spoke to me again. He told me how much more I am worth than what I had been giving myself. Later when I continued to ask and not listen to what God had to say I got a note from my mom that just totally and completely confirmed that God really didn't care about the fact that I was in school or just working. If there is one thing that I learn from this time of being home, is that first and foremost my heavenly father just wants me to be his daughter. His child. I need to know this completely and fully before I go back out in the world. The cry of my heart is still send me Lord here I am send me. Until then I am staying put and learning how to live a "radical" life in a not so "radical" place.
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